The Connotation Of Red
by itsjustyouandme
Summary: Red. That was what Jane called her because she didn't care to learn her name until the second year of knowing her. She chose red because of her hair and because it was threatening and because something about her was just dangerous.
1. Chapter 1

_Red is Dangerous_

She smiles at Jane from across the room. It's sweet and endearing and everything that screamed out welcome.

Jane hates her.

It wasn't that she had done anything to Jane; it was that she had got everything Jane ever wanted.

She just knew answers to questions where Jane's struggled; her smile was real while Jane's smile was false; her eyes were green and Jane's eyes were brown. She was a size 10, Jane was a size 12.

Jane hates her and she knows it but she welcomes Jane anyway.

* * *

At school when Jane was 5 she was told that if there was a problem she should talk it out.

Fighting doesn't resolve anything.

Not long after her ninth birthday Jane saw things on the news and in the papers about war and soldiers and adverts for recruitment into the army where they would teach people to kill and not feel remorse. Jane got taught it by her teacher too in history at aged 10. She learnt about World War 1 and World War 2 and her grandparents told her stories like it was yesterday. How these brave soldiers fought so that she could live the life she was living today.

The information was conflicting and her head hurt.

How could something that started so deadly and ended so deadly create peace?

Does that make fighting right?

When she turned 11 she understood. She knew exactly what it meant to fight. It was drilled into her by the doctors, the nurses and the parents. Fighting can kill.

Fighting can also keep you alive.

* * *

Jane didn't like people that were different, probably because she was different herself. It was in her blood, she was Italian and even though people never said or did anything to her she could just feel it. She thinks that's how she became such good friends with Frost because Frost was different too.

She also thinks that's part of the reason she hates her. She is different, but not in the way her and Frost are. She arrives to school in a black limo, she wears a new outfit every day that molds perfectly to her skin, her hair doesn't have a strand out of place, her makeup is flawless and she knows the answers to every question without ever really trying.

Jane used to think that she didn't listen in class. She looked bored and uninterested doodling in her book or staring out the window but then on occasions when Jane stayed behind in the classroom to ask the teacher for help, she would stay behind too to ask the teacher questions that did not relate to the subject in class. The teacher would fumble over his words and avoid answering. It took Jane a couple of weeks to realize the Mr Parker didn't know the answers at all.

Sometimes she just stayed behind to correct the teacher on something he had gotten wrong.

On them days Jane wondered if she was stupid or if she was a genius.

* * *

Red, that is what Jane called her because she didn't care to learn her name until the second year of knowing her. She chose red because of her hair and because it was threatening and because something about her was just dangerous.

Isles, that was her surname, that's what the teachers called her _Miss Isles, _like a punch to the gut proving that she wasn't like them. Like she was better than Jane, like she was better than all of them put together, at everything. Jane hated it. So she didn't call her Isles, or Maura. She called her Red.

Freshmen year aged 15. That was the year Jane's mum told her that she will have to start being responsible, she will have to stop fooling around with her brothers and actually concentrate on her studies. It was also a whole year that had passed since Red started at Millbrook College, so it was coincidental really, that it was the year that she first spoke to Red after an accident at the park with her brothers.

It happened quickly, so quickly that even if Jane had of seen the ball coming, she wouldn't have been able to move out of the way fast enough and as a result it smacked her square in the nose. The bat dropped from her hands out of reflex as she reached up to cup her throbbing face. She may have screamed if she hadn't have been concentrating so hard on not crying.

"Jesus Jane, are you OK?"

She thinks its Frankie that is asking, no it's definitely Frankie because Tommy is laughing and tapping her shoulder "You need to man up" he chuckles.

Jane growls "I'm fine"

She isn't, of course. She can feel the blood trickle down her fingers, or at least she thinks its blood, she daren't pull her hands away because Frost is stood frozen at her side and she knows the site of blood no matter how big or small will more than likely make him faint.

"I can't believe you didn't see the ball" Tommy laughed, he held up his hand to get a high five from Frankie who dismissed him with a shake of his head.

"You knew she wasn't looking"

"Trust you to take her side" Tommy mumbled but thought better of arguing. He squeezed Jane's shoulder. "It's not like you to not be concentrating, you alright Sis?"

"It was a foul ball" Jane mumbled. She leaned her head back. She didn't like being caught off guard and she certainly didn't like losing. She removed one of her hands from her nose and wiped it down her trouser leg before leaning her head back again.

Frost stepped away "Erm Jane, you're, well you have, it's…"

"Bloody" Jane finished, pushing both hands across her jeans in frustration. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her lips. Anger came to her easily and she had to learn to control it "I know, sorry Frost. Maybe I will sit this one out"

"It could be broken" Frankie threw in his two cents and Jane tried not to roll her eyes. She loved Frankie, Tommy and Frost and she knew they were only looking out for her but she didn't need looking out for.

"Did you know that nasal fractures are the most common types of facial fractures? Studies have shown that most nasal fractures involve the septum…"

Jane turned and took a step towards the voice. It was one thing that her brothers and Frost saw her in pain. It was another thing that a complete stranger…her eyes focused… that Red saw her in one of her weakest moments. Jane wasn't weak. Jane did not get hurt. She bites. "And this involves you how?"

"Easy Jane, she is far too good looking to be rude too." Tommy laughed, stepping up beside his sister "And you are?"

Jane put her arm out pushing Tommy back. Red wasn't one of them, Tommy would never be good enough. People like them were not allowed to hang around people like her and if they did it would only result in making themselves look and feel stupid.

"Please just, lean your head back" Red looked between the two of them choosing to ignore them both. She looked nervous but strong and Jane was having a hard time fighting her request when she felt the blood trickle down over her lips. She leant back closing her eyes she gathered her breath and tried again.

"What's this to do with you?"

"I can help" she reached forward, Jane stepped back.

"By calling your driver and having him escort me to the hospital, no thanks"

"Look, you can take my help or leave it" Red said, reaching out again she put her left hand on Jane's right shoulder and gripped tight, her right hand came up to trace over Jane's nose, Jane felt her skin tingle and pain course through her but she didn't pull back. "But if you say leave it then I can assure you, you will look like Mike Tyson tomorrow"

Then she added pressure.

A click

A scream

Everything is black.

* * *

Caterpillars wrap themselves in silk to build cocoons. It protects them and turns them into something strong, beautiful and free.

The sheets are soft and silky underneath her skin and she wraps herself tighter in them, warm, comfortable. She feels safe here. She doesn't want to wake up but she can hear her name somewhere in the distance and it's pulling her closer making her feel alive. She opens her eyes.

Lost.

This is not her house. The room is too big and too red, not cream and black like hers is. The walls are lined with drawing and paintings but no photos like her own walls that are covered in pictures of Frankie and Tommy, here there are none. The bed, she is sure that if she unwrapped herself from the silky sheets and stretched out both of her arms she would still not feel the end of the mattress. This was definitely not a single bed like her own.

This was not her room

"I'm sorry to have woken you"

Jane shot up, she was not alone, this was not her room, this was not her house, and everything is "Red?"

"Pardon?"

Jane pulled the cover around herself tighter and then released them realising she was fully clothed. She frowned and only then remembered her accident as pain shot through her nose. "Where am I and what happened?" The questions are out before she can stop them and if she wasn't under reds stare she would have slapped herself. _It was obvious where she was and what had happened._

Red knows. Of course Red knows, she is intelligent enough to read between the lines. She knows the answers to everything, apparently, even the questions unasked. "Your brother, he said your mum would kill you if you went back home bleeding and I needed to get Ice on your nose so" She trailed off, nervous.

Jane knew how to read people; it was something she had learnt from a young age. She people watched, saw their reactions and knew when to push and when to hold back. She had had time to study it, the two years where she wasn't at school she watched and she learnt and she took it all in. Red was nervous and Jane knew she could push it. "So you called on your driver and took me to" She points around the bedroom catching the grand piano in the corner for the first time "Took me to your room?"

Red holds out a bottle of water she has been holding the whole time and when Jane doesn't reach to take it she places it on the bedside table next to two tablets Jane can only assume are pain killers then Red steps away "I was going to take you to the hospital but…"

"I don't like hospitals" Jane snapped, cutting her off.

Red nodded "Yes, I know" Jane swallowed thrown of balance. She always wondered if it was still talked about, if she would always be known as the kid that missed two years of school because of what happened but then Red continued "Frost said" She paused "Why don't you like hospitals?"

"It's nothing to do with you Red" she pushed the covers off and sat up, wincing for a second. Pain shot across the bridge of her nose. She stood "I need to go"

"Red?"

Jane glanced at her then nodded. Red, danger, Maura was dangerous and she needed to leave "I need to go" she repeated herself forcefully and slipped on her trainers that lay beside the set of draws ignoring the pain that shot across her nose again.

"Ok" Red nodded dropping all questions that swam inside her green eyes "I will get my driver to take you"

"I will walk" Jane shot back and when Red opened her mouth to reply Jane beat her to it, the finality in her voice "I want to walk" They were different, Jane didn't have drivers. Jane didn't like money.

She followed Red to the door in silence and Red opened it wide leaning against the frame as Jane stepped past and through the threshold. The wind had picked up since this morning and Jane wrapped her arms around herself, the chill running right through her. She wondered if she should say anything else, if she could thank her for something that made her dislike her more. Red had seen her at her weakest and that was impregnable.

"How did you learn to do that anyway?" were the words that left her lips instead and Jane bit down on her tongue hard as punishment. Curiosity should never win she had learnt to control herself.

"I, that was the first time" Red said slowly. She slid out of her jacket and smiled "I want to be a doctor when I'm older" She beamed, proud.

Jane nodded and saw Reds outstretched arm. The jacked hung loosely off her finger in offering and Jane caught the printed _Armani _across the label. She shook her head and looked away.

Red had money and she wanted to be a Doctor.

A Doctor that would save lives, lives that could destroy families.

Her mind flashed back, she was 11, she was scared and she felt alone. They thought she was asleep but she wasn't. She could still hear them and she could still feel the words rip through her chest. _It's going to be long and hard but you need to stick together through this no matter what the outcome Mr and Mrs Rizzoli. Something like this will make your family stronger or it will tear it apart. _

She shook the thought away and started down the drive, conscious of just how stately this home was. She stopped to take it in, the tall fountains that birds hopped around on, the black limo that was tucked beside them. She let out a breath and put on a smile, her mother always told her to use her manners. Without looking back she shouted "Thanks Maura" and then bit her tongue hard again.

She didn't call her Maura, she called her Red, she was dangerous and she could not, under any circumstances, lose control.

* * *

_**Thanks for reading guys. This story is completely different to any direction I have taken or thought about before so any thoughts good or bad would be greatly appreciated. **_


	2. Chapter 2

Red is Pain

The first time she had broached the subject of death was not at school dissecting a frog, nor was it at a funeral of a long lost family member she didn't really know. The first time Jane broached the subject death was when she told her mum "I'm dying"

She remembers it, clearly like she had said it yesterday. It's scorched into her brain like a hot iron had branded her skin. She was branded; maybe not physically but she felt it. She would never ever forget.

It was dark, she can't remember the time exactly but it was definitely dark. She had woken up from a bad dream hot, sweaty and struggling to breath. She had called out without realising and her mum had responded before she could focus. Her hand was on Jane's forehead and she was kissing her head whispering that everything was going to be alright. Jane didn't believe her; she knew that this was it. She was going to die at just aged eleven. She wanted to tell her mum she loved her, she loved them all but what came out was "I'm dying"

Her mum held her tighter and took a strangled breath "Don't say that" Angela laughed but Jane heard the undertone, the nerves, the way it was meant to be reassuring but how it actually sounded desperate. "You're not dying Jane"

She didn't argue.

She had no energy left.

* * *

The second time she broached the subject death she was in the hospital. It was a month later and she was hooked up to tubes, 2 maybe 3 she couldn't remember. She was barely conscious and managed to roll over catching her mum sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. Angela was crying and Jane couldn't understand why, so she asked "Am I dying Ma?"

The question was innocent but present. Angela sobbed "I don't know"

The truth.

It was all she ever wanted.

* * *

"Can you teach me something?"

Jane pushed her locker shut with a loud thud. She knows that voice without having to look. She doesn't understand why she is speaking to her or what she could possibly know that Maura doesn't. She turns, her eyes scanning over the loose fitting jeans and navy blue top which bring out Maura's eyes.

"You mean you don't know everything that there is to know?" The sarcasm drips of her tongue unnecessarily but its prominent nether the less.

Red steps back and shakes her head "Sorry" she mumbles and when a heavy silence falls on them she starts to walk away.

Jane isn't sure if it's the light that vanishes from Maura's eyes, or the way her shoulders fall or even how her voice dips that makes her heart tighten. Maybe it's all 3 combined with the lad that runs down the corridor too quickly and barges into Red too forcefully without an apology that makes her heart tighten, but whatever the reason, it does and before she knows what she is doing she is reaching out to hold her up and they're close. Far too close together that Jane can feel rather than hear Reds breath on her shoulder and the swallow in her throat. She steps back, suddenly.

Distance.

Air.

She needs them both to breathe.

Then the words fall out of her mouth without her permission like she has been cursed and has no control over her body "I'll help"

The words are quiet but Maura hears and suddenly she is standing straight and smiling. She raises her eyebrow, her lips curled at one side, smirking.

She is losing control, Jane is losing control,

"But you don't know what I want help with?"

Shit.

She needs to gather herself, she needs to think. She stands back, stands up straight and pushes a hand through her hair as if the movement will wipe her brain clear. Sarcasm, sarcasm adds space and now is the time to use it. She nods, reassuring herself, answering Maura. "No, I don't, but whatever it is can be classed as payback for what you did for my nose, right?"

OK, that wasn't sarcastic. She scolds herself.

Maura shakes her head "You don't owe me anything Jane" She hesitates; Jane can see it in the way her hands pull into fists then loosen at her sides. "I saw you, in the park. You're good at that"

"Baseball?"

"No" Maura sighs and when she looks back up into Jane's eyes they are desperate and pleading "Playing." Her answer comes out steady "My Nanny, she says I need to learn how to play, how to you know, be a teenager once in a while"

Jane knows two things for sure.

She would have laughed, had the words come from any other individual in the school. She would have asked them if they were for real or worse, she would have told them to outright piss off. But she understood what it was like to be forced to be an adult. She understood what it was like to be lonely and while she and Maura were not the same, she understood exactly how she felt.

She also knows if it was anyone else, she wouldn't have said yes.

* * *

She cannot go back in time. It doesn't matter how much she wants to or what she would have done differently if she was given the chance. Jane cannot go back in time no matter how much she wishes or dreams or preys. Her mistakes and the mistakes of the people around her linger in the back of her mind because life isn't fair. She will always be reminded. She will never be able to forget when the scars will be with her for life.

Jane cannot go back to the past, but she does have her whole future ahead of her.

The hallway of Maura's house is bigger than Jane's whole house if it was all set out on one floor. She shakes her head speechless and reminds herself that this, right here is why they shouldn't hang out together.

It hadn't been planned. She hadn't agreed earlier on in the day that she would be standing in Maura's house but her last class of the day was science and somewhere between registration and the final bell Jane had gotten lost. She stayed behind to ask the teacher for help and almost like Maura knew, she stayed behind too, waiting until Jane broached the subject with Mr Parker before she jumped in swiftly offering her help. Of course Mr Parker agreed that Maura's tutoring would be a brilliant idea because Maura was the perfect student and because it was Friday and Mr Parker just wanted to get home.

She hadn't even had time to raise an argument before he had left the room and Jane begrudgingly agreed to meet Maura later that evening to catch up.

"Why are you helping me?" She asks warily. She isn't used to people going out of their way for her and she isn't sure she likes it. No one does anything without reason. People don't get things for free anymore.

Maura doesn't answer. She walks past Jane as if she hasn't heard a word she has said and when Jane doesn't follow she stops in the doorway. "Come on" she prompts and Jane follows her to her bedroom without thinking about it.

"Why are you helping me" She tried again. Maura's room is red and cream and filled with candles and books and paintings. There isn't a thing out of place.

"Is there any reason why I shouldn't?" Maura finally answers.

There question is not what she expects but when it's aired she can't stop her reply "You're dangerous Red"

Maura stops taking her books out of her bag and stands up straight. She looks at Jane hard and for a second Jane thinks about turning around and walking away while she still feels somewhat in control. "Why do you call me Red?"

"You're dangerous" Jane repeats and although it's not really an answer. It's all she has to give.

"Why Am I dangerous Jane?"

"Because" Jane pauses and slides down to the floor, she pulls her knees up to her chest and closes her eyes. How can she explain to Maura that if she had just a fraction of what Maura did then her family may still be together? How can she explain to Maura that she is broken and even though Maura wants to be a Doctor, she cannot fix her?

Jane cannot be fixed.

How can she explain to Maura that just seeing her with her perfect hair and her perfect clothes and her perfect smile is like torture? It's like living a bad dream over and over again with no escape route. Its a reminder of what she will never have and what she will never be.

"Because If you had started our school earlier, if we were friends, if I knew you three years ago, I think you could have saved me" She eventually says and when she opens her eyes Maura is sitting in front of her crossed legs, eyes scanning over her face with so much concern it tears Jane's insides apart and then Maura reaches out for her hand. It's too much. Its not enough. She continues "But I didn't know you then, I know you now and now you can destroy me."

It's the way Maura doesn't ask but squeezes her hand in support, acceptance and understanding that confirms she is right.

It's through choice and not through force. Its because she has chosen to be there and not because she has to be.

It feels like butterflies fluttering for the first time. It feels like the first ray of sunshine after a stormy day.

It feels like something she has never had but always wanted.

She almost forgets to breath.

* * *

Jane was eleven when she first broached the subject of death but at that age she didn't understand the doctor's diagnosis. She didst understand the impact it would have on her family, on her education, on her friendships. She didn't understand that it would make her brothers get teased or her dad get drunk or her mum cry.

She didn't understand that they would have no money, that they would have to sell their house or that they would all break.

At that time she had never heard of the word leukemia.

Jane cannot go back in time, so she remains a bird with broken wings, trying to learn how to fly again.

* * *

**Thank you everyone for the support! The comments, favorites and followers. I appreciate you all!**

**I know this chapter is very dark, I'm sorry guys and although I may lose some of you with that chapter your thoughts regardless would be a great help.**

**Thank you, you wonderful people!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Red is Red_

"We are not friends" Jane says as she slides into a booth opposite Frost. It's Saturday evening, one day after leaving Maura's house, her shoulders heavy and brain confused. She reaches across the table and pours sugar into her Café Latte. "Red and I are not friends" she says again and when she looks up Frost is smirking behind his coffee cup.

"What are you then?" he asks leaning back into the cushioned seat.

"I" Jane starts and stops abruptly. She doesn't know what the rest of that sentence is, she just knows what they are not and now she is regretting bringing the topic up "If I let her hang out with me she will help me with my science work" She answers after a moment. It's sort of the truth.

Frost nods in understanding, except he adds "Sounds like a _friendly _thing to do"

Frost grins triumphantly and it makes her skin crawl with irritation "We are not friends" she states again with a growl that falls off her face when the door opens and a burst of wind blows through the room. Maura enters the Café wearing a white top with a black skirt, a red jacket accompanying her look. It's nothing short of Perfect.

Frost follows Jane's line of vision and waves before turning back to her "Well, can _I _be friends with Maura" he chuckles.

Jane is too busy swallowing the lump that's caught in her throat to reply.

* * *

Frost asks the questions, Jane listens taking it all in.

She learns that Maura's mum is an artist but isn't around very often, her dad isn't worth mentioning and Jane reads between the lines figuring he isn't around at all. She doesn't have any siblings and she doesn't have any pets and when Frost asks if she has any friends Maura just shrugs explaining that they moved around a lot.

She has been home schooled most of her life but then went to two schools in as many years after winning an argument with her parents but found out the hard way that school wasn't like she thought it would be. She didn't fit in.

"Jane got home schooled once" Frost shared.

Jane kicks him under the table. She doesn't like to bring that time up. She finds it easier to just pretend that it never happened, that those years were just a bad dream, nothing more, nothing less.

"Why?" Maura asks far too quickly. Her eyes bore into Jane's and when Jane looks back she see's concern, care and confusion but nothing at all that should make her uncomfortable.

She doesn't like talking about it though so she shifts her gaze back to Frost trying to think of some way to explain it without actually having to explain. Frosts shifts uncomfortably in his seat and Maura looks between them both.

"You don't have to tell me, I just, I've never known anyone else who has been home schooled"

Jane rubs her hand across her temple and presses hard. She sips her coffee to bide time and when she finally pulls her gaze back to Maura she smiles "Maybe some other time?"

Maura nods, acceptance, trust, honesty.

Everything Jane doesn't have but has always wanted.

* * *

They meet Frankie and Tommy at the park where Jane runs and rugby tackles Tommy to the ground before he notices she has arrived. He laughs hard and pulls her down with him before they roll around getting muddy competing to try and be the first to get back up. Jane gets up first jumping up and down in triumph and Tommy nudges his shoulder with hers once his back at her level. "Cheater" He grins and Jane just smiles back.

"Are they always like this" Maura asks and even though Jane knows the question isn't for her she answers anyway

"Sure it is" she rolls her shoulder and pushes one arm above her head to stretch, when she drops it she steps closer to Maura, the evil glint in her eye already giving her intentions away "I always win"

She lunges forward but Maura has already stepped back and in screaming loud and it's so unexpected – having someone scream – that she actually stops her advances to check that everything is alright.

"My clothes, you can't ruin my clothes" Maura is protesting and Jane stops still inches away.

She reminds herself Maura isn't like them once again. Maura is Red, Maura is dangerous and Maura's jacket probably costs more than all of their clothes put together. They are not friends.

"Sorry" she mumbles biting her lip. She turns around quickly trying to push her disdain aside but before she makes it two steps back towards Frankie and Tommy she finds herself falling quickly chest first to the ground.

She was not prepared and she actually lets out a grunt and then she feels Maura fall down next to her from the force of her own push. She is laughing hard and rolling over and it would have been like music to Jane's ears if she wasn't so detracted by the hand on her back.

It's over quickly. It probably only lasted a few seconds but Jane will be able to remember it frame by frame later that night as Maura stands triumphantly straight, her hair tangled, her face red, her chest heaving and with mud splattered on her jacket. She grinned "Guess you have met your match now then?" and it's just so smug and damn cute that Jane can't find any words to reply.

Right before Maura's car comes to take her home, she thanks everyone by buying them all ice cream. They lounge around on the grass letting the sun kiss their skin and it actually feels so nice to just sit around and do nothing for once that Jane forgets that Maura has to go until she stands up and points across the field "Well that's my ride"

Tommy whistles and Jane smacks him across the back of his head to keep him quiet before she stands herself. She brushes off her trousers and pretends she can't feel the multiple pairs of eyes that bore into her back "I'll walk you" she says and starts to head in the direction of the limo before anyone can say anything.

Before she changes her mind.

Maura catches her up and the short walk is done in silence. When they reach the car Jane kicks a pebble back and forth between her two feet. She doesn't know what to do or say. She has never had a friend that's a girl before and she doesn't feel that Maura would appreciate a high five. She isn't good with goodbyes.

She doesn't have to say anything. Maura hugs her, whispers "Thank you" and slides into the back seat of her car before Jane can even react.

"So you're not friends" Frost questions when she returns back to them. He shares a quick look with Tommy and Frankie that Jane picks up on. "I wish I had some _not friends _as cool as that"

* * *

Mr Parker says there are 206 bones in the human body. Maura tells you that over half of them – 106 to be precised – are in the hands and feet. She explains that the hand has 27 bones each and that the feet have 26. Mr Parker says that the longest bone in a human body is the femur; Maura tells you it is quarter of your height. Mr Parker says the stirrup is the smallest and Maura doesn't say anything but leans over to pull Jane's ear with a smile. Jane instantly realizes that that is where she will find it.

When the lesson is over Maura says that not all humans have 206 bones. Children have up to 270 and babies can have between 300 and 350, she explains that these fuse together as people get older. She explains like she has all the time in the world and Jane listens so intently that she has to remind herself to breathe.

She learns more from 10 minutes with Maura than what she does from a whole week with Mr Parker.

"Your smart" Jane compliments at the end of the class and then she smiles, it's really quite "Incredible" she whispers and then clamps her mouth down shut. She wasn't meant to say that out loud and when green eyes find brown Jane turns and rushes away.

* * *

She avoids Maura successfully for two straight days. Or at least she avoids any kind of conversation and confrontation, but Frost ends the spell on the third day.

It's Thursday and they walk into the lunch hall at exactly 13.10pm but instead of going to the first table on the left like they usually do, Frost makes his way to the last table on the right.

Maura is sitting on her own spreading salad around her lunch box with her fork. She has a book open on the table next to her and Frost slides into the seat opposite like this is normal and Jane suddenly feels uncomfortable not knowing where to sit or if she is even welcome. Maura pulls out the chair next to her, an invite that Jane chooses to take.

"You know" Frost pulls a fry from his plate and dips it in ketchup, when he looks up he has both of their attention "I just remembered I have that thing to go to" He says though his already up out of his seat and pushing his bag over one shoulder, then he is gone.

Jane makes a mental note to strangle him later.

"What's going on Jane" Maura closes her book and pulls Frosts tray forward. When she looks Jane's way she makes sure her eyes connect with brown. "Why are you avoiding me?"

Jane doesn't answer. Maura tries again. "OK, why are you scared of me?"

"I'm not" she says far too quickly to sound convincing and then she takes a deep breath, she has never been good with words and she is sure now will be no different. "Does money make you happy?"

Maura pinches another fry and as Jane waits she fears her question wouldn't be answered but then Maura pushes her book closed and rests her elbow on the table "I try to find happiness with it" She answers "I try to find it in my bigger than needed TV, in the car that drives me around whenever I want, in the food that is cooked for me and the house that is always clean. I try to find happiness in the money my family have"

"Try?"

Maura cocks her head to the side and then nods once. "It sounds selfish doesn't it? That I could have, and do have, so many things and yet I'm not happy"

"What would make you happy" Jane doesn't understand.

Maura doesn't need time to think, she answers straight the way, smiling "Love" She nods, sure "Love would make me happy, you have lots of that"

"No" Jane interrupts rolling the words around on her tongue before letting them tumble out "But if we did have more money then I would have more love. If we did have more money I wouldn't owe them everything. I would be free to live my own life."

"Money isn't good Jane" Maura whispers, its shaky and sad and it's the first time Jane has seen her look weak "If we didn't have so much money, then I would have a family. It's the money making that keeps my mother away"

"But you're free?" Jane asks, hopeful.

"Yes" Maura agrees. She puts her book back in her bag and stands up "I'm free Jane, but only because nobody cares" She finishes.

Jane doesn't stop her from walking away but the comment lingers and her chest aches and only after Maura has completely left the room does she relax and wonder, if she was forced to pick between love and money, what would she choose.

Would it really have made a difference anyway.

* * *

**Thank you all once again for your kind words. You are beautiful people and your words keep inspiring me to type more words that make sentences that create stories.**

**These are for you.**


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